Lesson No. 2: Family and community are all that really matter.
You cannot spend a moment in India without seeing the value its people place on family and community. From the minute you step off the plane, you see people connecting socially in a way we rarely experience in the United States. Everywhere you go, people greet, talk with and honor each other.

The sense of community and the closeness of family are overwhelming. In the villages we visited, people shared their crops, cattle, tools and whatever was needed to help their neighbor. Their happiness came from spending time with others who they loved and cared for. Everything else was secondary.

In our society, the hectic pace of our lives and our desire to “have it all” make it easy to miss out on the people who matter most to us — our family, friends and neighbors. We don’t do this intentionally. In fact, our intentions are honorable. We work hard and long so we can provide a better life for those we love and care for. The problem is that we may wake up one day only to find we have missed out on important events and experiences with the people we love most. These are events and experiences that we can never get back again.

• In business: We are part of a business community that enriches the lives of our customers. The products we provide impact our customers’ lives and their families. The funds we provide for purchasing or improving homes, educational expenses, investments, retirement and debt consolidation all have a direct and positive impact on our customers’ lives if they are structured correctly. So be a life-changer, not just a loan officer.
• In life: Take time every day for people who matter to you. Give your time and attention to your family, friends and community. Don’t lose sight of the importance of family. Work today to nurture your relationships so that tomorrow you will not look back with regret.

Lesson No. 3: Belonging is far greater than just being.
This is the most profound lesson I learned from the people of India and particularly, the children I met during my first visit to the orphanages. As an American tourist, I stuck out like a sore thumb. It wasn’t only because I was taller, bigger and lighter-skinned than almost everyone I met. It also was because I possessed things that spoke of American wealth, such as expensive watches, digital cameras, computers and clean, new clothing.

As a result, these children could have asked me for money, possessions or clothing. None of them did. Instead, all children I met asked me for the same two things — to say their names and to touch them. All they really wanted was to be recognized and loved. It was amazing to me how knowing their names, shaking their hands, patting their heads or hugging them brought them such incredible delight. Their smiles were beyond anything I can explain. They wanted to feel that they were known, that they were significant and that they belonged. They did not want to just “be.”

We are no different. We want to belong. We want to be known. We want to feel significant. So do our family, friends and customers. No human emotions are more basic to our core needs.

• In business: Your customers also want to feel significant. Spend time getting to know them. Ask them about the things that matter — their goals, their families and their desires. By doing so you will not only be able to help them achieve their goals, but you will make them feel important and establish the kind of long-term relationships that will make you their loan officer for life.
• In life: Show others that you care. Let them know that they are important. Let them know that their needs are valid, their goals are worthwhile and their lives are significant. When you do this, you touch their most basic human needs and make a significant difference in their self-worth.

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