Mortgage lending runs on relationships. Lunches with agents, happy hours, closing photos and friendly social media posts between mortgage loan originators (MLOs) and real estate agents all feel normal. They feel harmless. Often, they are.
But regulators see these moments very differently. While the industry sees friendships, regulators see patterns. Where the industry sees networking, regulators see influence. And once money keeps flowing in one direction, their attention follows it.
A single like on a social media post feels tiny. One little tap. Harmless. Nobody is getting hauled into a regulatory review over a single emoji. But regulators do not look at one action. They look at the trail it leaves. One like is nothing. Two likes are still nothing. But 50 likes between the same MLO and the same agent on posts about closings, referrals and “best MLO ever” moments stop being innocent. Patterns speak louder than intentions. It is the digital version of a perfume trail on a jacket, a scrunchie left in the passenger seat or lipstick on a collar. One clue means nothing. But a whole set of clues tells a story.
In the eyes of examiners, repeated likes become a “thing of value” because they show attention, signal endorsement and create influence. A single like is harmless. A trail of likes is evidence. And regulators are very good at following evidence.
It follows the same rhythm as Bobby and Susie in high school. Bobby and Susie start getting cozy and smoochy because they think nobody is watching. But that is never how it works. The moment it happens twice, everyone sees it. And by the third time, the entire school has already decided they are a couple.
Regulators read digital behavior the same way. They do not focus on the first interaction. They focus on what it becomes, especially when it happens in the open.
“This is no longer the ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ era. Now, what happens online stays online forever.”
The internet puts everything in the open. It shines a bright light on every pattern. Everything is visible, traceable and recordable. This is exactly why an old saying still matters: “While swinging on the garden gate, love may be blind but the neighbors ain’t.” Regulators are the neighbors, and they notice the patterns long before the people creating them do.
Happy hour adds another twist. An MLO buys the first round. The agent posts a selfie holding a beer large enough to need its own flotation rating. The caption reads, “Another smooth closing with the best MLO around.” The drink is not the issue. The public praise following the drink is what looks like marketing. And when this happens every Thursday in the same bar, examiners take note. MLOs see friendship. Agents see fun. Regulators see a pattern that refuses to hide.
Closing photos create their own headaches. The most overused one is the “family holding oversized key” picture. The key is always so gigantic it looks stolen from the front door of a giant’s castle. The borrowers grin like they just won a reality show, the title agent lurks in the background hoping to be cropped out, and the MLO posts it online as if posing with a novelty prop were somehow meaningful for housing finance.
These photos reveal everything: age, race, household makeup, family structure and all the demographic clues examiners use to build patterns. When the same MLO keeps posting the same type of family holding a key big enough to double as a snow shovel, the pattern stops whispering and starts yelling. Eventually, the oversized key no longer says, “Welcome home.” It says, “Welcome to the unintentional fair lending exhibit.”
Anyone wondering why closing packages are the size of a small encyclopedia only needs to look at history. Laws often exist because someone at some time in history did the thing the law now bans. That is how states ended up with rules about renting bathing suits or keeping horses off hotel second floors. Mortgage rules grew from the same logic. Section 8 of the Real Estate Settlement Procedures Act (RESPA) tightened because the industry took liberties in past decades. Trips, perks, gifts and arrangements that lined up a bit too neatly with referrals helped shape today’s regulatory environment.
This is why a “thing of value” still has no dollar number attached. No $25 safe zone. No easy chart. Just patterns. And patterns drive interpretation.
Regulators learned this long before social media existed. Anyone who remembers the days when title reps would stroll in with two free plane tickets to Vegas understands why regulators stepped in with force. That era ended fast, and for good reason. This is no longer the “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” era. Now, what happens online stays online forever.
Some of the industry’s online habits resemble a Michael Scott team-building event from the TV show “The Office.” Everyone arrives expecting something simple and fun. Twenty minutes later, it is full chaos, HR is called in and nobody remembers what the original plan was. Online posts behave the same way. A cute tag becomes an endorsement. A funny caption becomes a referral. A harmless joke becomes a screenshot saved by an examiner. The original intent can be quickly lost.
Regulators can also spot connections the way Taylor Swift fans spot Easter eggs. Swifties once decoded an entire album announcement from nothing more than a pair of snake-themed boots in a single photo. Their theory was correct. Examiners have that same energy. One post is harmless. Two posts raise curiosity. Ten posts create a narrative about influence, even if no one meant to write it.
This brings the conversation back to the bowling-bumper truth. Mortgage lending has always lived in a gray zone. Compliance is not there to ruin the game. An MLO can still bowl a strike. A perfect game is still possible. But when the ball keeps bouncing off the bumpers repeatedly, someone eventually walks down to your lane to see why. Patterns of praise, tags, likes, drinks, closing photos and public gratitude all start to resemble influence. And influence is what attracts examiners.
This is no longer the “what happens in Vegas” era. This is the screenshot era. Before posting, tagging, or celebrating publicly, it pays to ask a simple question: “How would this look to someone outside the relationship?” If the answer is even a little unclear, that is usually the answer that matters.
Doing the right thing always pays off. And as regulators examine online behavior with the same seriousness once applied to perks and gifts, being careful now will prevent far bigger problems later.
